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NEW: Life Coaching

I am starting a new adventure of Life Coaching. I will only be doing it on a part-time basis but If you or anyone is interested in making things happen in your life please contact me. Click the "Life Coaching" tab above for more information.

Book Review: FORTIFY: A Step Towards Recovery

"...My favorite line in this book actually happens on page 5. "Our aim is to help you reclaim and become again who you are and always have been, even if you forgot that for awhile." At ANASAZI we believe every child has a seed of greatness within them. They just need to remember. Both philosophies mean that the strength to overcome negative behaviors lies within."

INSPIRE: music.service.hope

At INSPIRE we are determined to make our dreams come true! We want you to be a part of our success. Please take a moment to check out our website:, FB page, join us at our next service project, or come to one of our upcoming Musical Firesides in the Valley to learn more about us.

"Make It Happen"

"Make It Happen" is a collection of principles, blog entries, stories, and conversations had on couches, floors, kitchen tables, and at many single-adult gatherings. It is filled with practical ways to make changes in your life, find hope, increase faith, strengthen relationships, and build the kingdom."

I Am My Sister's Keeper

"I am my sister's keeper. It is my responsibility to hold her heart and be aware of her concerns. I may not understand why she decided to wear pants to church or why she wants to go to the Priesthood session, but I can certainly learn about her cause and concerns before I demonize her."

Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Importance of Being Still

The Importance of Being Still

I am in the business of healing and over the years two things stick out consistent and glaring. We, as humans, are terrible at sitting with pain
                       and watching others in it. 

It's as if we are hard-wired to avoid, escape, test, numb-out 
                                                 and/or help, fix, save, rescue.

When was the last time you actually thought about creating a space for the people you love to speak to you their pain?

The next time someone starts to invite you into their story—their pain/heartache—what would happen if all you did was listen? What if you actually didn't say a thing....even when they finished talking?

          I am convinced that healing actually happens in the space when the words stop

I believe it's not about what you say but how willing you are to say nothing that helps the most

We are awkward and bumble our way through hard conversations. It makes sense that we want to fix things that are broken and find solutions to problems. 
                                But what happens when we can't?

I wonder how often we fill that most important space with words that are empty in an attempt to make ourselves feel better?

What if instead we just listened?  
                         What if you reached out your hand in comfort?
                                                        What if I just created a safe enough space that you could cry?
                                              Would it be enough?

Sometimes I think we don't know how to sit in/with our pain because being still is deafening. We know how to do loud, busy, creative, social. We know how to do escape, entertainment, blame, guilt. 
Somewhere along the way we forgot how to do quiet.

It is in the stillness that we discover our truth

So take some time to live intentionally. Grab someones hand and look them in the eye—as strange as that may be—and ask them to listen to your heart.

Take a moment to discover twinkly lights in all their glory and if you lie down underneath a lit Christmas Tree and look up through the branches in wonder and awe.

Reach out to someone that you least likely feel needs validation and validate them anyway.

Set aside some time to be still and sit with yourself.
Re-evaluate who you are, who others perceive you are, and who you want to be. 
If you are living your truth then take a deep breathe and Rejoice!

There is something incredible that is found in the simple stillness of a grateful heart

Monday, November 10, 2014

I'm a Complete Failure

I have a confession. I'm a complete failure.

I know what you are thinking...but Kylee you do so many good things (maybe you were thinking something else?) and you might be right but you would be wrong as well. I am failing at life in a HUGE way.

I'm 34 and not married. I don't own a house. I am in debt. I can't remember the last time I went on a date.  My boss called me into his office the other day to talk to me about how I can do better at my job. I don't have great health. I don't make a lot of money....and the list goes on and on.

Sometimes when I start looking around at others I feel so lost and behind. I'm behind in writing texts to my friends. I'm behind in reading all my emails. I'm behind on the great books that everyone is reading and the incredible movies everyone is watching. I'm behind in fashion and the latest food fad. I don't Pin or Snap Chat and I just barely got Siri on my iPhone.

So I guess not only am I failing but I'm also so.far.behind.

...And then I have these moments where I stand underneath a waterfall and just stare in awe at its beauty.  

Life reminds me that I'm in no hurry. There is no special prize for those who own houses, have children, stay organized, are out of debt, etc. Life isn't a race that we are either winning or losing. Comparison truly is the thief of joy (Theodore Roosevelt).

So maybe it isn't the worst thing to be failing in life or to be perpetually behind? All the good that is in me and that I've created has come, in part, to my failures. All my growth and strength, in many ways, has come from being behind and pushing through. 

Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, for all my failures, and all that I lack, it seems that God places me in situations or brings people into my life to remind that we are not all on the same track. We all have different ways to give and receive and we all fulfill different purposes. 

I imagine I will always be someone who is failing at life and behind because I hope that I am trying to live every moment as much as I can passionately in the present!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Maybe You're Just Too Picky?

I am literally sitting in a coffee shop (shout out to Coffee Garden on 9th & 9th) while writing this post. I'm pretty sure I have sitting here long enough to witness 3 first dates. It has been supremely entertaining. One seemed like it might work out to at least another date while the other two were painfully awful (and I wasn't even on the date)—which leads me to the point of this post.

Lately I've had some pretty crazy conversations with some of my friends about their dating life and it's got me thinking about that dreaded phrase, "Maybe you're just too picky?" Maybe this is actually true for a few singles on the planet but not for most of us.

Karin Anderson, Ph.D, wrote the following in an article in Singular City and I agree with her one hundred percent:

“You’re too picky.” Every woman I know who’s been single for any period has heard it.You’re too picky,” can disguise itself as “You don’t give guys a chance!” Or, “You’re awfully critical of the men you date!” Or, “You really need to be more realistic!”Realistic about what? What exactly are people trying to tell us? How are we supposed to take comments like this? “You’re too picky” might mean:
  • Apparently, you think you’re pretty special, but you’re no better than anyone else is. It’s time you considered lowering your standards.
  • You’re no spring chicken! At this point, you need to be grateful for whomever you can get!
  • Sure, I got to marry the love of my life. But that’s not gonna happen for you. Sorry ’bout your luck!
  • You must not see yourself clearly. You’re aiming way out of your league. The homely sorts we set you up with are more your pace.
And these are our friends who say such things to us?"

 In my personal experience it gets exhausting explaining the "why aren't you married?" questions people seem to throw around like a nice hello. I can, however, tell you that as soon as someone says anything even remotely close to the "you're too picky" they lose pretty much all dating advice/set-up credit with me.

I am about to share a few stories that shed a very negative light  on men but lest you think I'm a man hater please refer to either of these posts "Men of Valor" & "Dear Single Men" and know that I love men!

Here are just two very real and true stories that two very awesome women shared with me in the past few weeks.

First TRUE story:

I was getting my hair cut/colored and the hairdresser, whom I had never met and knew nothing about, started talking to me about her Tinder Dating experiences. Let's just say I can't even post most of what she said b/c it is not family friendly. I will, however, summarize her nightmare story...she basically was dating a guy, who it turns out was married, and had a girlfriend on the side (forgot to mention both of them). In addition he lied about losing his Law license, and the 3 children he had. I know this sounds like a Lifetime Movie but it seriously happened to her just a few months ago.

Next TRUE Story:

I just heard this story yesterday at work. I had known my co-worker recently broke up with her boyfriend just before he had planned to move in with wasn't until yesterday during lunch that she told a few of us why. First of all, he told her he was divorced—and you guessed it—he's not. Secondly, he told her he was in recovery for a LONG time for his alcoholism. One night they were driving (they needed to take both of their cars and he was driving in front of her) out of town and it was about a 3 hour drive. Apparently, he drank a bottle of Tequila (while driving) for the entire 3 hour trip and drove off the rode and hit a tree with his car—right in front of her (literally).

Maybe being picky should applauded instead of discouraged??

You are just going to have to believe me that neither of these women are crazy, desperate, or even picky—in fact, they both were very particular about finally going out and dating the above two men.  I know these are both extreme stories but seriously, if you know anyone who is elbows deep in the dating scene then you should know they empathy not a push into the crazy.

The dating world is crazy,  mostly miserable, messy, and hard enough to live through without anyone calling anyone else picky. So please think before you have THAT conversation with anyone. Thanks!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Being Brave

What does it mean to be brave?

Being brave has meant different things at different times in my life. When I was younger being brave meant the same thing to me as making hard choices. Deciding where to go to college, if I wanted to serve an 18-month church mission,  what I wanted to major in college--all of these things seemed hard and brave.

Being brave has meant not being angry at God. Choosing to be grateful and positive despite lost dreams, hopes, righteous desire seemed brave. Watching friends emerge for Postpartum Depression stronger and more empathetic. Watching natural disaster devastate land and people's home, wars ravage souls, and enduring actual hate crimes and prejudice.

Bravery, at times,  means the same thing as change. Deciding to join AmeriCorps as a VISTA and move across the country, working in downtown Boston, being far away from family. Watching friends relearn to speak, walk, grow their hair back, and more. Great and small change requires bravery, doesn't it?

Lately, to me, bravery has meant being uncomfortable.  Meeting a good looking guy at Verizon (no, not Eric...see previous post) texting him, him giving me his personal number. Actually trying to have conversations on Tinder (rather than just validating myself with matches). Trying to figure out ways to let guys know I'm interested in them. Putting myself out there is seriously so exhausting and uncomfortable...and brave?

But when I look back over my life I believe, woven in between all these experiences, bravery looks more like vulnerability.

Allowing myself to let someone in, for them to see my genuine weakness and tears. Watching a friend vulnerably battle breast cancer at 28. Walking away from unhealthy relationships. Being honest with myself and others regardless of the outcome. Listening as friends are open about their dashed dreams, their loneliness, their righteous desires--unmet.

I would love to hear what being brave means to you?

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Ordinary Love

"I don't wanna be no star-have fame on the Boulevard. No, that's not what I'm looking for. I don't need shiny things or love from the movie screen. But, I tell you what I really want....Gimme  an ordinary love." (Ben Rector)

I love love!

I love when someone finds someone else that makes sense and brings color to their world. I love the giddiness that ensues, no matter the age, when you find someone who you can't wait to see/ talk to, even though you've been texting all day. 

I love watching a couple come into a room and seeing that look on the guys face--so proud to be with the most beautiful girl in the room. I watch her flit around the room all buoyant and buzzing like a hummingbird. He is happy to sit back, smile and steal glances at her now and again.

I love being shorter than a guy, with my high heels on, and having to get on my tiptoes to kiss him. There's something magical about the way a guy puts his hand on the small of the back of a girl and let's her know she's safe.

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” (Jack Kerouac, "On The Road")

There are days when I want a passionate love affair, travel the world with a partner in crime, and burn the candle at both ends. Then there are days when I just want to sit on the couch on a rainy day and curl up next to someone and laugh a lot. We won't care what the rest of the world is doing because what we are doing is enough.

I still believe I can have it all.