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Friday, May 1, 2015

Invisible Drowning

So many people are drowning in the kiddie pool these days. They are literally dying, killing themselves, and depressed while surrounded by so many people that care about them. They are walking around with smiles on their faces while they are crying and screaming on the inside to be loved, cared for, touched, taken care of, listened to, etc.

I believe that more often than not the way to show people they matter--that you care about them isn't about anything big or flashy. It's the simple gestures over time that let them know they are of worth.

We currently life in a society that is constantly connected yet quite often desperately disconnected.We start to base our worth on how much money we make, how many followers or "likes" we have, or even on what type of technology we choose. All of which are empty hollow things posturing to take the place of human connection. 

Money can't buy love and no amount of Twitter or Instagram followers can make you love yourself.

Sometimes it seems obvious that all we need to do is tell them what they need to do for help. To scream at them that all they have to do is stand up and they won't be drowning anymore. Don't they know that they are in a kiddie pool and that all they need to do is put their feet down? 

The problem is that most of the time we have no idea who is actually drowning.

So what can we do to help those who are invisibly drowning?

  • When you listen to someone, really listen, and don't feel the need to rescue them or solve their problems you help them to know they are capable of doing hard things.
  • When you call, text, email, message someone  out of the blue when something reminds you of them you help them  to know you care about them specifically.
  • When you spend time with someone and they  NEVER see your phone, not even for one minute, then they know you are present and engage--which means, if they need to, they can be vulnerable.
  • When you take the time to write down some words for someone on a sticky note, letter, card, etc. They know that not only are you thinking about them but you took the time to write it down for them read later--which they will need on dark days.
  • When you decide to dig in, to be honest, truthful, and actual help someone be their best, even if that means saying hard things, they know you are in it for the long run and not just their because things are easy.
  • Knowing that someone cares for you or loves you is NOT the same as them telling or showing you. Everyone needs reminders that they are loved and worthy of love.
I am sure there are many other ways to help those around you know you care , that they are loved, and that they do matter. Do what you can where you can and with whom you can to let the people in your propinquity know you see them drowning and are willing to help.

I am so grateful for the people in my life who let me know I matter, that I'm loved, that I make a difference, and that they care. I need it just as much as anyone else!

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