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Monday, January 6, 2014

The Splat Theory: Why It Doesn't Work

The Splat Theory is simple.  You splat on me and then I splat on you and now we're both covered in splat.

I am sure you have a very good reason to fling your splat on me.  As you will quickly understand that it doesn't feel good to be covered in your splat and so I feel much better, more empowered, when I fling my splat back at you. Kind of like a food fight. Sooner, than later, it's almost as if we've forgotten why we started to splat in the first place. And worse, the reason there is splat everywhere suddenly has become more important than either of us. The thing more important than the person.

The Splat Theory doesn't work. It never has and it never will.

It's not about tolerance, or hating the sin not the sinner, or even about laws. It's not about who is right and who is wrong. It isn't about the minority or the majority or even the fad of the hour. It's not about who can shout the loudest or longest or who has the most signatures. In fact, it's not about taking sides at all.

It's about love.

Not the kind of love you think you are giving with your protesting picketing signs and your passive aggressive Facebook posts. Not the kind of love you falsely preach in the name of God. Not the kind of love you manipulate and guilt upon others. Not the kind of love that says I need to believe the same as you or you can't love me. Not the love you say everyone deserves but then withhold when it is suits you. No, not that kind of love.

The kind of love that listens. The kind of love that decides if you splat on me I have a choice in what I do next. The kind of love that heals. The kind of love that says it doesn't matter what the issues are but let's talk & listen to each other as humans with hearts that easily break. It's the kind of love that says I see you—you, naked and raw—and I'm okay with THAT you. The kind of love that understands there is enough light for everyone and this feeling of scarcity is false and crippling. That kind of love.

I find that quiet, honest, heart-felt conversations can make more impact at times than marching in any parade or signing any petition. I have found that compassion turns hearts towards others more than any kind of rhetoric or written law. Sometimes the only way I know how to show you love, when you keep throwing splat, is to love you anyway—not splat returned. Some of the most powerful lessons are learned in silence.

Let's stop splatting on each other.

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