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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Literary Time Out: Guest Post

Guest Post: Validation
By Kylee Shields

In my book there are a few themes that circulate throughout. I talk a lot about wandering, loneliness, trials, goals, validation, hearts, etc. When I started putting this book together the one thing I really wanted to do was put my heart into this book in a way that people who had never met me could feel it and understand it. I was also hoping that as my heart whispered to their heart they could feel inspired, heard, and most importantly VALIDATED!!

Here is an excerpt from chapter seven, “Validation”

You know what it feels like to have someone give you a compliment just when you need it. Someone who hasn’t seen you in a few weeks says you look like you’ve lost a lot of weight. Little did she know you skipped the gym a few too many times lately and feel fat. Timing is everything! A person reads a story you’ve written and gives you positive feedback. A call comes when you least expect it to tell you that you matter. A student in the back of the classroom who rarely talks makes a point to let you know you are his favorite teacher. A handwritten personal note lets you know your smile matters. A random stranger tells you she loves your outfit or hair. A girl notices that her date has opened all her doors, paid for everything, walked her to the door at the end of the night, and been a perfect gentlemen—and she tells him she appreciates him. A boy notices how much effort his date put into getting ready for their date and tells her. These are just a few examples of those never-forgotten moments when someone notices the efforts you make and find  a way to let you know. Sometimes these are tender mercies, and sometimes they are just natural compliments born of occasion, but they are always appreciated.

As humans we have a need to be valued, appreciated, loved, and accepted. We need to know that what we do matters. Sometimes in your desperation for approval you put someone up on a pedestal, and when he or she falls, you realize all you really wanted was to be noticed. Sometimes you connect with someone new and want to tell the person everything, so you do and it’s too much, and you realize all you really needed was to feel loved. Often you think or even dream about getting a new job that pays you what you are actually worth, when all you really need is to know that what you are already doing at work makes a difference. You go out and get new clothes, style your hair differently, put on more makeup than usual, pinch your cheeks, put on a pair heels and go out to conquer the world. Then you realize your feet hurt, you feel like a clown, and the hairstyle you spent forever on looks like it always does, when all you really needed was for someone to tell you that you are beautiful.  You find yourself wanting to tell everyone all the amazing things you’ve accomplished and what has been happening in your life, but no one cares, and you realize all you need is someone to listen to you.

We are living in a YouTube world. A few years ago I watched a little YouTube clip with my best friend called “Validation.” If you have time you should go watch it—really, I mean right now. It seriously changed my life. It is a sixteen-minute clip about the power of validation, how one man smiling and making others smile came full circle and in the end blessed his own life. The part about the clip that strikes me is that at the end—after he has done so many things to validate others-he is finally validated. He responds by saying he had never been told that before. REALLY? How is it possible that someone who goes out of his way to compliment and validate others doesn’t get in validation in return? And yet you know what I am talking about. Some of the people who need the most validation are those who are continuously giving it out.

How have you been validated lately? 

Tour Giveaway

As part of the tour, Kylee is offering 4 amazing giveaways!! These include a $25 gift card to Amazon, a $25 gift card to Target, and a hard copy and ebook copy of the book.

To enter to win these prizes, simply fill out the Rafflecopter form provided. Open from January 8 to January 31. Must be 13+ years of age to enter.

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